Key Takeaways
A growing trend of financial infidelity is contributing to the dissolution of American marriages, as data shows nearly one-third of first marriages end in divorce, with an increasing number of couples maintaining separate finances that can conceal problematic spending.
"Many people are leading separate financial lives, or one spouse is in the dark," said Evan Schein, a partner at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein in New York. "All of a sudden you might find out that the assets you thought existed, the marital pot that you thought was of one value, might be substantially less."
The trend toward separate finances is quantifiable, with a 2023 Census survey showing 23% of married couples kept no joint bank accounts, a significant increase from 15% in 1996. This financial separation coincides with a 2023 Pew Research Center report indicating that roughly a third of Americans who have married have also divorced from their first spouse.
This secrecy creates a major risk to marital assets, as undisclosed spending can drain millions over time, leaving one spouse financially vulnerable after a split. The proliferation of digital payment and betting platforms has made it easier than ever to hide transactions, making financial transparency a critical issue for modern couples.
Divorce lawyers report that financial secrecy is a central issue in many splits, ranging from hidden income loss to secret accounts used to fund affairs or habits. Marilyn Chinitz, a matrimonial attorney at Blank Rome, recounted a case where a forensic accountant uncovered a client's husband spending roughly $20,000 a month for a decade on a secret family, dissipating millions from the marital estate.
The temptations for hidden spending have multiplied in recent years, with sports-betting apps like DraftKings, online shopping, and risky trading readily accessible. For Jessica Simon, 41, stray DraftKings charges in the shared checking account were the first sign of trouble. The conflict over money highlighted deeper issues, and she ultimately set the divorce in motion after discovering a flurry of bets, prompting her to open her own separate bank account to control her finances.
Even when accounts are pooled, secrets can persist. Gail Legaspi-Gaull, 54, felt she shouldered more of the financial burden in her marriage. Her resentment grew when she noticed a bank account balance dwindling, only to discover later that her husband's employment situation had changed without her knowledge. Her ex-husband, Jeff Gaull, acknowledged he didn't tell her immediately to avoid causing stress, but the financial rift was one of several issues that led them to grow apart.
In other cases, one spouse's abdication of financial oversight can lead to future shocks. Tamsen Fadal, a podcast host, said her ex-husband handled most of the money. After they split due to an affair, she discovered she was in debt and found bank statements for an account she never knew existed. "It really did change how I look at money," Fadal said, noting she no longer outsources financial decisions to a partner.
This article is for informational purposes only and does not constitute investment advice.
